Failure
by Lovely Pencil
Summary: Ash doesn’t want to be a disappointment, at least, not in Gary’s eyes. Palletshipping. AshxGary


**Summary**: Ash doesn't want to be a disappointment, at least, not in Gary's eyes.

**Fandom**: Pokemon

**Pairings**: Future Palletshipping.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Pokemon.

Enjoy! :)

* * *

Ash Ketchum was going to be a Pokemon Master.

And although people told him he would have to work hard for it, they never doubted for a second that he wasn't going to achieve his dream.

So, Ash was going to be somebody great.

But right now he was a teenage boy, with love problems.

And the worst part was that Gary Oak was involved with his love problems. In fact, Gary Oak _was _his love problem.

No, Gary was not stealing Ash's crush, or trying to take Ash for himself or something like that. He was involved, without even knowing it.

Ash wanted Gary. Not to beat him, or prove that he was better than Gary, but wanted _Gary_ himself. In more graphic terms, he wanted to 'do the dirty' with his rival/best friend.

To make matters worse, Ash's little teensy weensy crush had evolved into full blown out, _**LOVE**_.

Sometimes he looked up to the sky and asked, "Why him of all people?!"

And even though he never got a response, he knew the answer.

No, he wasn't gay. No other guy besides Gary made him weak in the knees, or made his stomach churn like there was no tomorrow.

It was because Gary impacted him in a way nobody else did.

At this age, Ash wouldn't take crap from anybody. If anyone put him down, he'd scowl at them for a moment and ignore them. But when he was younger, Ash was completely spineless.

They'd laugh at him, and he'd cry. They'd pick on him, and he'd cry. They'd beat him, and he'd cry.

Then came Gary. His savior. He finally stopped the abuse and from then onwards, Ash depended on Gary.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Gary was strong. He could take on the bullies without breaking a sweat. He could take their laughter. His parents died in a car crash, with Gary as the only survivor. He had learned to ignore the remarks people made about him. And he was smart. He could retaliate against their mocking with some of his own.

So Ash relied completely on Gary, and when his best friend suddenly announced that they would have to travel separately when they started their journey, Ash was hurt. And even though Gary knew this, he didn't stop himself.

_Flashback_

"_Ash."_

"_Hey Gary!" Ash replied brightly, smiling at his best friend._

_Gary didn't smile back. The only acknowledgement he gave to Ash, was his name._

_Noticing this, but deciding not to comment, Ash continued talking. "Can you believe it? We're going to get our very own Pokemon!"_

_Gary nodded, and looked away from Ash._

"_Gary? Are you okay?" The black-haired boy was really getting worried. Even if Gary wasn't the most talkative person, he almost always responded to Ash, even if it was just insults. _

_Suddenly, Gary's voice echoed throughout the silent park, and it cut through Ash like a knife._

"_Ash, I'm not going to travel with you."_

_Moments passed, but Ash was frozen in place._

_When he finally spoke, his voice came out sounding hoarse, and just above a whisper._

"_What?"_

_Gary shook his head. "You really think I'm going to travel with __**you**__?" His lip curled slightly on the last word, making Ash flinch._

"_G-gary. Come on, stop messing around."_

_But Gary shook his head. "Seriously. Why would I travel with a loser? You'd just slow me down."_

_The twinge in Ash's chest grew, but he tried to keep his voice even. "I would not."_

_Gary's lips morphed into a mocking grin. "Good luck on your trip, _Ashy-boy_."_

_And then, he just…left._

_He left Ash. _

_That was the moment Ash decided, he __**was **__going to make Gary proud of him._

_--_

But here he was, back at home.

He had just lost…_again._

First in Kanto, then in Johto, and now in Hoenn.

So what, if Gary had decided to lay off and be nicer to him a long time ago?

In Ash's mind, that was pity.

"Ash. Come on, get your head out of the gutter." Misty said, shaking Ash.

He sat up. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, get down and enjoy the party."

"Why should I?"

Misty scowled. "What the hell do you mean, 'Why should I?' It's _your _goddamn party!"

Ash shrugged. "So? I didn't ask for it."

Misty almost, _almost _screamed, but took a deep breath instead. "Ash. Come on. It's just another battle. You'll get over it."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will, you managed with every other battle-"

"No I haven't!" He snapped, and was about to tell Misty to get the hell out and leave him alone, when Delilah Ketchum opened the door.

"Sweetie? Is something wrong?" She asked, and Ash sighed.

"No mom."

"Then get downstairs! Gary just got here!" She smiled. She had treated Gary as her own son, and loved him just like she loved Ash.

Ash's eyes widened briefly, and then he forced a smile.

"I'll be right down mom."

Misty and Delilah noticed right away that something was wrong, but both decided to leave Ash be for the time being.

As soon as they were gone, Ash headed for his window.

There was no way in _hell_ he was facing Gary after he just lost one more time.

He was halfway to through, and was about to slip out when a hand grabbed his wrist.

Oh crap.

It was Gary.

Gary-fucking-Oak.

Ash groaned. Was it just him, or did the universe have a personal vendetta against him? **Honestly.**

"…"

"…Where were you going Ash?"

"…Outside."

"And you couldn't use the front door?"

"No."

Gary raised an eyebrow, though Ash couldn't see because he refused to look at Gary. "Ash. Tell me why you were being an idiot and trying to climb out the window."

_Cough._

"_Ketchum_."

Ash sighed. There was no way he could think of a believable lie. "I was trying to avoid going to the party."

And in his respect, it wasn't _completely_ a lie. He had no desire to go down and try to act cheerful, when all he wanted to do was sit down and cry.

"Why? Everybody wants to see you."

"I'm just tired, alright?"

Gary sighed. "If this is about you losing that match-"

"Gee, you think?"

"Be quiet and listen." Gary replied, seemingly calm. "I just wanted to tell you, that even if you _did_ lose, I'm still proud of you. But coming from me, I guess that doesn't mean very much, now does it?"

Without even thinking, Ash replied. "More than you might think."

_Silence._

Ash blushed. "Um, you know. Being my rival and all."

"Of course."

_More Silence_.

Ash didn't know why, but he just blurted out, "Why are you proud of me? I've lost in every single league I've gone into!"

"Don't be stupid Ash. You think that all the Pokemon Masters became Pokemon Masters after their _first, second, _or even_ third _attempt?"

Ash flushed. "No."

"Then why should you be expected to? You'll get there eventually, just give it time."

"Eventually? You mean you actually think I can be a Pokemon Master?"

"Hey, you managed to beat me didn't you?"

Ash laughed at the arrogance that was Gary. Well, not as much anymore.

He sighed, feeling a huge weight lifted off his shoulders. So he really _wasn't _a failure to Gary.

"Thanks Gary." He said.

"No problem. That's what best friends do, right?"

Ash ignored the pang in his chest and whispered back, almost disappointingly, "Yeah…friends."

Gary lifted himself off the chair. "Well then, what are you waiting for then? Let's get downstairs."

And so they did.

* * *

The next part will be telling Gary's side, and then the Palletshipping occurs. :D

Let me know what you think! :)

**Itarilde**


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